Don't Tase Me, Bro!

FX has stopped showing Buffy the Vampire Slayer at 7:00 a.m.

This means that today I was forced to watch The Today Show while I ate breakfast. It was okay, though, because I got to see the story about the Florida college student who was "tased" at a John Kerry speaking event.

If you haven't seen this yet, get thee to YouTube straight away.

I definitely don't consider myself a staunch "pro-police" kind of gal, and I'm usually the first one to stand up for the little people.

But is this guy for REAL? As he's being led away by one arm, he's waving the other arm in the air, screaming "Help, help!" I kept expecting him to add, "help me Baby Jesus, help me Tom Cruise, help me Jewish God," a la Ricky Bobby. The cops looked as befuddled as I was. Throughout the incident, Kerry (ever the lovable bore) is still calmly answering questions.

My third favorite part is where he's told he will be tased if he doesn't cooperate, and after further struggle he calls out, "don't tase me, bro!"

Second favorite -- the very precise and distinct "ow" he yells as he's actually being tased. Not "AAAAAH!" but a definite "OW". THIS part reminds me of the ever-classic local news episode in which our own Louis Coleman subjected himself to the taser for the benefit of viewers. Classic.

But my absolute favorite part of the whole thing? (Which, unfortunately, is cut off in the YouTube link above.) Post-tasing, dude is standing pretty calmly, being loosely held by the police, then suddenly looks at the camera and exclaims, "they're giving me to the government!"

Oh, NO! The GOVERNMENT! Dum dum DUM . . . . (Please note that said government released this pathetic guy on his own recognizance this morning.)

But on a serious note, one thing that does really need to be addressed -- and soon:

Just what is the correct verb form of "taser?" Is it "tase," as our erstwhile Floridian seems to think? Or is it "taser," as in "bro DID taser me!"

Did he get TASED? Or did he get TASERED?

The world may never know.