I'm sitting here, utterly terrified to go beyond my own blog into the wilds of the internet for fear of accidentally reading Harry Potter spoilers, which have already leaked, you know.
Shoot, now that I think about it, I'm really quite afraid that some rogue Harry-hater might leave a random comment on my blog telling me the ending.
People, I would cry.
My current plan involves extremely limited news access until Midnight on Friday, at which time I will go to the Dirty Kroger by my house (the bookstores aren't safe, I tell you), buy the book, and STAY UP ALL NIGHT to finish it before Time magazine puts the ending on the cover or something crazy like that.
So, in honor of this occasion, I thought I would put forth my own predictions -- PREDICTIONS, mind you, which are very, very different from SPOILERS, in that I am not actually friends with J.K. Rowling and haven't read the leaked pages (which purportedly include a lurid sex scene with Harry and Ginny -- odd departure for Ms. Rowling, I must say).
While I haven't written a dissertation on ol' Harry or anything (and yes, I've heard of some who have), I have read them all several times and I do have a few predictions, all of which will likely be wrong.
1. Harry will die. I think it's necessary. And I'm actually okay with this; I think it's vastly preferrable to Harry having to give up his powers or pulling a Frodo and withdrawing completely from normal life.
2. Hagrid will die. This will make me cry, and I hate it, but it's what I think. I just love that big ol' lug.
3. Ron and Hermione will both live, stay together and likely name their first-born Harry.
4. Hogwarts will reopen, but Harry won't return as a student.
5. Petunia will be revealed as a very cowardly woman who nonetheless loved her sister very much and has acted accordingly. (No, I'm not sure what exactly that means, it's just a feeling I have.)
6. Voldemort will be finally and irrevocably vanquished, all Horcruxes destroyed, etc., etc. Evil snake guy, poo on you.
7. Snape. What to say about Snape? Interesting how the most unlikeable character in the whole series also turns out to be the key to everything. Like Harry, I hate him enough to believe that he is evil. But I can't believe that Dumbledore was that wrong. So I -- reluctantly -- have to say he will turn out to be good. Good in the slimiest, ickiest, nauseating-est way possible. Greasy, nasty GIT (one of my favorite British words ever) -- poo on you, too. Even if you are "good."
Be careful out there, everybody.