Tell Me the Truth: Does My Butt Look Big?

For many, many months, I've been telling Todd that Penny the Wonder Puppy is a Delicate Flower. He hasn't quite agreed.

Me: But remember that time her trachea collapsed and she almost died?

Todd: Remember that time she destroyed three dog beds, a remote control, and ate half a human bed?

Me: Oh, yeah.

But NOW. Now that it's just a wee bit cold outside, Todd has turned super-softy and started worrying about her little short-haired, no-body-fat-having self being cold.

Because, YES, we are some of those people with lumps of coal instead of hearts who make our dogs sleep outside and YES, we know we are going to hell for it and YES, we know when we get there we will be endlessly tormented by being forced to sleep outside while the dogs sleep in the cushiest part of hell, and we JUST DON'T CARE.

I did feel a bit bad the other morning when I went out to feed her and she crawled out of her house, where she'd been snuggled down with her dog bed, copious amounts of straw, and three large towels, and actually SHIVERED. I stopped feeling bad when, an hour later, she ripped that dog bed to shreds. Shreds, I tell you. There's green foam snow all over her pen, now.

Anyway. Todd's brain is working a mile a minute on solutions that involve sacrificing the futon mattress and stapling it inside the dog house, kind of like a rubber room for a crazy dog, which is pretty fitting, actually, for Penny the Wonder Puppy. I, on the other hand, came up with this:



I think it really highlights her youthful complexion, don't you?