I lost a jury trial yesterday (because juries are the stupidest thing ever invented by stupid people, not that I'm bitter) and although the judge and I don't always see eye to eye (yes, that is some serious understatement right there), he apparently felt the need to comfort me today, and called me up to the bench to tell me this story.
Judge: I liked your arguments yesterday, and I thought that guy was guilty. I mean, I think you really hit the nail on the head -- it was all about the power for that guy. I think he hit her in the eye, just like you said.
Me: Thanks, Judge.
Judge: I think he wanted her to get religion, and she didn't want to.
Me: Well . . . that's one way of looking at it.
Judge: Reminds me of this friend I had. He was an alcoholic, drank all the time, and he met this woman, and she was an alcoholic, too. They got together and had a baby. Then, he got religion, see, and he wanted her to get religion, too, but she didn't want to, she wanted to keep drinking, so he killed her, see --
Me: He did WHAT?
Judge: Well, he killed her, and now he's in prison, see. He shot her.
Me: He shot her?
Judge: Well, see, she wouldn't stay home with the baby.
Judge: So what I think is, you can't poke somebody in the eye just because they won't stop drinking.