For some reason, going to the neighborhood Kroger is often more . . . shall we say . . . interesting -- than it should be.
There was the time the clerk yelled down the check out line at me, "Hey, you used to be my Public Defender! You really got me off!"
Then there was the time the shoplifters blew past me to get out the door with their cart-load of DVDs and the security guy hit ME with the mace.
Then today, I'm trying to pay for my clementines and milk and the clerk announces to me (and everyone else within a fifty foot radius):
"I THINK I HAVE A TAPEWORM!"