Today in court:
Dude: Man, can't I just get a fine or somethin'?
Me: No, you could go to jail. You're on probation, and you're charged with Carrying a Concealed Deadly Weapon and Possession of Marijuana.
Dude: That wasn't a weapon, it was a stick! A stick, to keep the dogs off me!
Me: Oh, because they were attracted to the smell of the pot?